anxiety

A 12 year old’s guide to dealing with social anxiety

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment
(This post was written by one of my seventh grade students who has social anxiety. She wanted to help other’s who may be going through the same things by writing this post. Enjoy!)

Have you ever felt anxiety? I used to feel like I didn’t belong or like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t fit in with the popular kids and didn’t know the drama they went through. I felt like if I were speaking to someone my age, they were speaking negatively of me. I felt confused about friends, wondering if they were even really my friends. I felt like I wasn’t supposed have these feelings. Kids shouldn’t have anxiety. Right? But I realized that if I am sad and lonely all the time, then I will never be happy. So I did my best to get over these feelings. Here are some of the things I kept in mind that helped me with my social anxiety.

  1. Fake the shyness away

I tried to forget about what other people were thinking of me. So let’s say you’re sitting with the popular girls or something. Try to act like they’ve been friends with you forever. Stop overthinking and just enjoy the moment.

  1. Train your mind

Happiness is a choice. When you have anxiety, negative thoughts in your head all day are very common. But you should train your brain to think of the positive instead of the negative. You will end up being happier, and trust me, feeling happy is awesome.

  1. It’s okay to have these feelings.

I used to feel like I was the only kid who had anxiety. But then I heard some of the other girls my age talk about their experiences with anxiety and depression and I realized that I am not the only one who feels this way. People from kids to adults experience anxiety and that is normal.

  1. It’s okay to be different

I felt like I was different because I am the only girl at my school’s program who plays soccer. I stopped playing in school because I felt like I was weird. But I realized that if you are your true self that you will be happy. And when you are your true self, the right friends with similar interests will come along. I play soccer in school again now.

  1. It’s okay to be alone sometimes

Now I have and talk to more friends but I also spend a lot of time alone too. I like my alone time. Sitting by yourself does not make you weird. It lets you recharge your mind.

I changed a lot and now I am happier. I am dancing to happy music in my room like nobody’s watching! Being weird is a gift. It just means you’re different, and it makes other people smile.

Love,

Iraiz Bautista

Overcoming Post Grad Blues

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

Graduating college is an amazing accomplishment! Finally, no more homework, 9 am classes, and dining hall food. But if you’re like me, that excitement soon turned into anxiety. Because now, we’re living in the “real world.” Everywhere you go, people are asking you, “What’s the next step?” “Where are you going to work?” “Are you going to grad school?” And you’re just sitting there trying to come up with the best sounding lie because reality is, you don’t have it all figured out yet! Trust me, I feel you.

Here are 6 things that helped me out during my post grad blues and I hope these tips help you too!

Take life one day at a time

If you’re anything like me, you probably thought something along the lines of, “Okay… I graduated. Now I need to find a 6 figure career, buy a house, find a husband and pick out my kid’s names within the next 5 years.” But I realized that if I am always rushing to the next best thing, I will never truly enjoy life. Instead of stressing out about things that I cannot yet control, I would rather focus on the things that I can, and enjoy the chapter I am currently on. Sure, I am not yet where I want to be. But I am enjoying every bit of the process.

It’s okay to change your mind

I personally had a bit of anxiety about what career path I wanted to take. I graduated with a journalism degree, honestly because I love to write. But I realized after working at the job I had while in college, teaching a journalism course to kids, that teaching is something more suitable for me. I am also interested in counseling. So I created a new plan, and that is subject to change as well. You never know where life will take you. But learn to find the positives in everything you do. If I did not major in journalism, I wouldn’t have started this blog. If I didn’t have that job, I wouldn’t have known I love to teach.

Don’t fall back into old routines

Some people move into an apartment after graduating. Others, like me, moved back in with their parents. Being in the same environment from 4-5 years ago might mentally make you backtrack. I know for me, when I was living on my own I made sure I didn’t buy any unhealthy snacks or goodies for my apartment. My idea of a treat was a granola bar or yogurt! Moving back home was hard for me because I was now surrounded by all the things I deprived myself of. It is something that I still struggle with today but I am learning to make the necessary adjustments. We can’t control what others do, but we can control ourselves.

Redecorate

One thing I did to get myself excited for moving back home was changing my bedroom around. I bought new décor and I am currently in the process of painting my walls. This change makes me feel amazing internally. I love lighting candles, laying in my new comforter and just winding down from a long day in my room.

Make a Plan

You can’t expect for opportunities to fall into your lap. You have to work toward your goals. And if you still are not sure about the career path you want to take, look at your life and figure out what you like. What aspects of work do you enjoy? Even if you are working in retail. Let’s say you hate the job itself but you enjoy convincing customers to buy things. You might be an excellent real estate agent one day. Explore that option. Volunteer or apply for internships. And again, its okay to not have it all figured out right now. LIVE LIFE AT YOUR OWN PACE, NOT SOCIETY’S.

Pray for guidance

Constantly praying for guidance was crucial for me. I remember in college, when I would go to Christian groups and they asked for prayer requests, my response was always GUIDANCE, GUIDANCE, GUIDANCE. Because I knew I was going to experience a major transitional life period very soon and I wanted every step I took to be approved by God. Pray that God will give you visions, signs and confirmation for your future! Trust me; you ask it and you will receive it.

I hope these tips helped some of my fellow post graduates. Please send this post to any of your friends that you think might need it!

xo, Brittany Kayla

10 Ways to Cope with Depression and Anxiety

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

With depression and suicide becoming all too common, I wanted to sit down with the kids I work with to have an open conversation about the topic. I thought it’d be important to not only let them know they’re not alone but I also wanted to inform them of ways to cope with their feelings other than cutting, for when they did feel like they were. So I did my research and figured you guys might benefit from these as well. Here are 10 different ways to cope with anxiety and depression.

1. Talk it out

Sometimes all you need to do is talk out your problems and you’ll feel better. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to therapy. They know exactly what to do and say that will ultimately contribute to turning your negatives into positives. But if you still don’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist, find a trusted friend, church leader, or a family member. If they love you, they are going to want to help you, no matter what. And of course, you always have God to vent to when there’s nobody else around.

2. Coloring

Studies show that coloring in a coloring book provides instant relief to anxiety. It’s so therapeutic and relaxing! And the smell of crayons brings me back to a simpler time in life, my childhood. You can find adult coloring books at Barnes & Noble.

3. Journaling

Write it out! This is the method I’ve been using for years and I love to look back and see how my thoughts have changed and progressed over time. You can turn your sorrow into beauty by writing poetry and songs. You can write out an angry letter and then throw it out after to relieve stress. Or you can just simply write about your day.

4. Pets

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “pets and therapy animals can help alleviate stress, anxiety, depression, and feelings of loneliness and social isolation. Studies have also shown that pets are facilitators of getting to know people, friendship formation and social support networks.” This is why colleges allow emotional support animals for students. So if you’re struggling with mental health, I would definitely consider getting a pet! My dog has brought so many smiles to my face, even on my worst of days.

5. Healthy Choices

Research shows that “sport and physical activity partially encounters the same neurophysiological changes as antidepressants.” So find a sport you enjoy! Basketball and boxing are good examples of stress relievers. You should also try to eat healthier. I know that when I eat like crap, I feel like crap; so healthier eating puts me in a better mood.

6. Don’t Isolate Yourself

I know from personal experience that when you are depressed, all you want to do is lay in bed alone. But it’s best to surround yourself with people. Even if you are just sitting in a Starbucks; at least you are not drowning in your own thoughts while crying yourself to sleep. I’ve been there, trust me!

7. Yoga

Many people practice yoga to help manage stress, depression and anxiety. It’s very soothing and relaxing. A few symptoms of depression are loss of concentration and energy, which yoga helps restore. Now add some soothing music to your yoga session and you’re good to go!

8. Lavender Oil

The yoga instructor at the school I work with also brings lavender oil to her classes because it scientifically reduces anxiety and emotional stress. There are so many amazing essential oils that all have different benefits. You can purchase the oils and oil diffusers right at Walmart or your local drugstore.

9. Painting

Painting definitely relieves my stress and anxiety. You’re focused on your masterpiece, not on the struggles of life. And again, you can take your feelings and turn them into something absolutely beautiful. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be Picasso! Just enjoy the experience.

10. Get Help

If you absolutely just feel like you don’t want to live anymore call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Or click onto their page here, where they offer “24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.”

I hope this post helped someone today. And of course, my dm’s and email are always open if you would like to talk to me personally! My Instagram is @psbrittanykalya and my email is psbrittanykalya@gmail.com.

I love you all!

xo, Brittany Kayla