future

5 classroom tips every college freshman needs to know

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

1. College is way more relaxed than high school

Depending on your major and professor, you will be able to roll into class late or even skip, if attendance isn’t a big deal to your professor. Some professors don’t check homework and the only graded assignments are 5 quizzes and 3 tests. In most college classes you can chew gum, eat your lunch and nonchalantly text in the first row of class (although I don’t recommend that). So yeah, college seems like tons of fun right? But the reality is, these professors know that you are paying to be there. You are now old enough to know that every decision you make in life has a consequence and if you choose to not show up to class, not participate, sit on your phone and not pay attention, then you ultimately will be the one who suffers, scrambling to your professors for extra-credit assignments at the end of the semester to boost your grade. You’ll have to pay to take the class again if you fail. Plus, failing a class is not a good look on your GPA and transcript. So don’t get too carried away with all the new classroom freedom you’ve gained while in college.

2. Reference your syllabus often

Most of your college professors will give you a syllabus on the first day of class. Do not lose it! This will be your guide for the rest of the semester. Your questions about the grading system, office hours, current assignments, and future projects will be answered in the syllabus. Your syllabus will have exactly what you will be covering in each class, so if you do ever need to skip, you’ll know exactly what you’re missing. Also check the online system your professor/college uses. Some use College Board, Sakai, etc. This will also have the online version of your syllabus, reading, and homework due for the week. Some professors even link their PowerPoints so you can follow along on your computer in class or to easily reference the notes at home.

3. Sometimes you just need a personal day

We are constantly going through things in our personal life that cause us to feel down and depressed. It is okay to take the day off from class every once in a while to take a mental break. Just don’t do it too often, and make sure you won’t be missing anything important in class. If attendance is an issue, communicate to your professors what you are dealing with. Trust me, most will be understanding if you are transparent and communicate. They’ll likely accommodate you and your schedule.

4. Make a good impression

Most professors have a lot of experience and connections in the field of your major. My major in school was journalism. I had one professor that worked on a TV show and another who was a journalist for CNN and traveled all over the world. By showing up on time to their classes, paying attention, and going up to them after class to show your interest in their career experience makes a great impression and these professors will be the ones who vouch for you, write your references, and connect you to employers for when you graduate.

5. Get the extra help

Some of your classes will be lecture halls, where you may have as many as 500 students in one class at a time. These classes can often move quickly. Make sure you are getting the extra help immediately when you do not understand something so you don’t get left behind. Office hours are the times your professor is available to personally go over and tutor you in the material covered in class. These hours will be on your syllabus and you can schedule an appointment with your professors either in person or through email. Also, there are many available free tutors that every college offers. So take advantage and do not get left behind!

I hope these classroom tips helped my undergrad readers! I have faith you will all will do amazing, in Jesus name. Share this post to save a freshie!

Love,

Brittany Kayla

Overcoming Post Grad Blues

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

Graduating college is an amazing accomplishment! Finally, no more homework, 9 am classes, and dining hall food. But if you’re like me, that excitement soon turned into anxiety. Because now, we’re living in the “real world.” Everywhere you go, people are asking you, “What’s the next step?” “Where are you going to work?” “Are you going to grad school?” And you’re just sitting there trying to come up with the best sounding lie because reality is, you don’t have it all figured out yet! Trust me, I feel you.

Here are 6 things that helped me out during my post grad blues and I hope these tips help you too!

Take life one day at a time

If you’re anything like me, you probably thought something along the lines of, “Okay… I graduated. Now I need to find a 6 figure career, buy a house, find a husband and pick out my kid’s names within the next 5 years.” But I realized that if I am always rushing to the next best thing, I will never truly enjoy life. Instead of stressing out about things that I cannot yet control, I would rather focus on the things that I can, and enjoy the chapter I am currently on. Sure, I am not yet where I want to be. But I am enjoying every bit of the process.

It’s okay to change your mind

I personally had a bit of anxiety about what career path I wanted to take. I graduated with a journalism degree, honestly because I love to write. But I realized after working at the job I had while in college, teaching a journalism course to kids, that teaching is something more suitable for me. I am also interested in counseling. So I created a new plan, and that is subject to change as well. You never know where life will take you. But learn to find the positives in everything you do. If I did not major in journalism, I wouldn’t have started this blog. If I didn’t have that job, I wouldn’t have known I love to teach.

Don’t fall back into old routines

Some people move into an apartment after graduating. Others, like me, moved back in with their parents. Being in the same environment from 4-5 years ago might mentally make you backtrack. I know for me, when I was living on my own I made sure I didn’t buy any unhealthy snacks or goodies for my apartment. My idea of a treat was a granola bar or yogurt! Moving back home was hard for me because I was now surrounded by all the things I deprived myself of. It is something that I still struggle with today but I am learning to make the necessary adjustments. We can’t control what others do, but we can control ourselves.

Redecorate

One thing I did to get myself excited for moving back home was changing my bedroom around. I bought new décor and I am currently in the process of painting my walls. This change makes me feel amazing internally. I love lighting candles, laying in my new comforter and just winding down from a long day in my room.

Make a Plan

You can’t expect for opportunities to fall into your lap. You have to work toward your goals. And if you still are not sure about the career path you want to take, look at your life and figure out what you like. What aspects of work do you enjoy? Even if you are working in retail. Let’s say you hate the job itself but you enjoy convincing customers to buy things. You might be an excellent real estate agent one day. Explore that option. Volunteer or apply for internships. And again, its okay to not have it all figured out right now. LIVE LIFE AT YOUR OWN PACE, NOT SOCIETY’S.

Pray for guidance

Constantly praying for guidance was crucial for me. I remember in college, when I would go to Christian groups and they asked for prayer requests, my response was always GUIDANCE, GUIDANCE, GUIDANCE. Because I knew I was going to experience a major transitional life period very soon and I wanted every step I took to be approved by God. Pray that God will give you visions, signs and confirmation for your future! Trust me; you ask it and you will receive it.

I hope these tips helped some of my fellow post graduates. Please send this post to any of your friends that you think might need it!

xo, Brittany Kayla

Privileged? I’m BLESSED

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

I recently watched a video called The Race of Life about white privilege. In the video, a bunch of kids were lined up of different races and genders. A man told them they were all going to race for a hundred dollar bill. But before they could begin running, they were asked a series of questions such as, “Have you never had to wonder where your next meal was going to come from?” and “Have you never had to worry about your phone being shut off?” And if the kid’s answers to these questions were yes, they had to take two steps forward. This resulted in the kids going from one single line to being scattered all over. A lot of the black kids ended up toward the back. The man concluded by saying, “We all know these people up here have a better opportunity to win this hundred dollars. Does that mean these people back here cant race? No. — The reality is if this was a fair race and everybody was back on that line, I guarantee you some of these black dudes would smoke all of you. And it’s only because you have this big of a head start that you’re possibly going to win this race called life.”

Now the definition of privilege is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.” What this man was trying to get the kids to understand was that because the minorities in the group were not white, they wouldn’t have as many life advantages and therefore would be set back in the “race of life.”

But a key thing I noticed in the video was that, unless you were the kid all the way in the back, there was always someone behind you. Because whether we were born into a specific group or not, we are all blessed.

Sure you may not be rich, but do you have a home? You may not have a car, but do you have legs? You may not be society’s idea of beautiful, but do you have a mouth to say something that’ll change the social norms? You may not have money to help someone out financially but do you have the wisdom to mentally guide them in the right direction?

We are blessed! Whether it looks like it or not. And that is something that even I have to constantly remind myself of. There is always going to be someone behind me in life that needs a helping hand. I recently read a quote that said, “My life is someone’s dream out there,” and when I really processed that, it hit me hard. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone out there is wishing they could be in your place.

Sometimes we complain that the kid with the hundred dollar bill isn’t helping the rest of us, but what are we doing to help each other get to that kid’s place? We talk so much crap about celebrities not donating all of their money to big charities and fundraisers but we don’t even help the people we see on the daily.

And again, helping each other doesn’t always mean financially. There are people struggling physically, mentally and spiritually! Stop turning a blind eye to your struggling neighbors while looking at the “privileged” to help you.

I remember seeing a white woman going into a corner store and she looked overwhelmed and busy. She knocked some things over and cursed and yelled. A black homeless man walked over with a smile wide enough to brighten anyone’s day and helped clean up the mess while saying words of encouragement. Now that man had no home to call his own and probably wondered where his next meal would come from that night, yet he took the time to help out someone more privileged than himself. That man proved you don’t need a lot of money or a lot of privilege to help someone out. That man understands he is blessed to be alive. And I think when we all process how blessed we truly are instead of focusing on what we don’t have in life, we will reach the level of happiness that man had.

You may not be rich but you are blessed. And the only way we will progress as a whole, privileged or not, is if we lift each other up instead of waiting for handouts from the kid with the hundred dollar bill.

xo, Brittany Kayla

Beauty in the Struggle

~ psbrittanykayla ~ 2 Comments

I’ve dealt with insecurities my entire teen and adult life. I’d always find myself on some sort of diet and wearing some sort of makeup, needing some sort of confirmation. These insecurities were so intense that they affected almost every single area of my life. Life is exhausting when everyday you wonder if you are good enough. It wasn’t until recently, when I decided to find the root of these issues that my perspective of myself changed.

I went back to my childhood. I pulled out an old diary that I kept from elementary school through high school. I realized that my insecurities began as young as 3rd grade. Bullying started in elementary school. Not feeling good enough started in elementary school. Almost every entry was about wanting to start diets, wearing makeup, finding a boyfriend, or how I could become prettier.

As I read through the diary, I began to cry. I couldn’t believe that little Brittany was worried about these things when I should have been worried about things like making the soccer team. I felt as though I was robbed of my childhood. But I refused to let that little Brittany stay alive in me today. I made it my mission to find confidence within myself.

I asked God why He let me feel a self-hate so deep at such a young age. Almost instantly the answer came to my mind. “You are going to help other young girls that are dealing with the same things you had to.” I didn’t know that in a few months that promise would come to pass.

I was already working with kids but a position opened up at a new school and I took it. This is where I realized that I had to go through the things that I went through to truly empathize with the students, particularly the girls. These girls were dealing with bullying, insecurities, suicidal thoughts, depression and some were crying for attention from boys. I made it my duty to sit down with these girls in a therapy-like session to make sure they knew they were beautiful and that they always had someone to talk to. In one exercise, I had the girls write 10 things they loved about themselves and 10 things they didn’t. Most of the girls wrote with ease the things they hated. One girl wrote 12 things in particular, but she couldn’t find one thing she loved.

I almost cried when one of the girls, who reminded me of myself, explained her issues to me and said that she wishes she could be more beautiful like “Ms. Brittany.” I explained to her that she is beautiful and that when I was her age, I went through the exact same things she was. Then I explained to her my own story and she began to cry. Knowing that I am making that kind of impact in my student’s lives is the ultimate reward for me.

I say all of this to explain that we all go through hard times in life. Whether you have childhood trauma, mental health issues, financial issues, relationship issues, or you’re mourning a loss; something beautiful is in the making.

So hold on tight and keep your faith strong. There’s always a rainbow after the storm.

xo, Brittany Kayla

JUST FREAKING DO IT

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“You are young,” he said, “go out and explore the world!”

I met him at a sushi lounge during a night out with the girls. He forever changed my perspective on life. I naturally worry about everything. And if you’re anything like me, you have a lot of great ideas but you’re not sure if you should follow suit because of the risks it could take or your level of comfort. But this night, I changed the way I would approach every new idea that comes to my head.

His name was Kerny and he taught me the importance of taking risks in life.

He told me that he landed a job at a prestigious university making over 100k a year, but he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t satisfied. He would rather live the life he wanted. One day he decided to quit his 9-5 and has been supporting himself as an artist ever since. (He’s amazing by the way). Now, he makes money doing what brings him joy and he gets to travel where he wants, when he wants.

“If I want to go to Dubai, hell, I’ll book my flight and I’m there the next month!” he exclaimed listing the countless countries he’s visited since beginning his journey.

It inspired me! Kerny quitting his high paying job to being an artist, something he actually loved, is one of the riskiest stories I’ve ever heard. And I’m sure he struggled in the beginning for quite some time but now he is genuinely happy and I could see it in his eyes. His risk led to greater opportunity. It led to seeing the world. It led to becoming the most radiant being in a dimly lit sushi lounge.

Life is about the risks we are willing to take. If we don’t take them, we will be complacent in life. We will be stuck in the same predictable cycle. We will always wonder “what if?” And that leads to misery.

So I encourage you to take the risk that’s been tugging at your heart. Of course, make sure it’s doable and not life threatening. But if what’s holding you back is fear of failure then, it’s worth the shot. I recently saw a quote that read, “Apply for that job. Date that person. Buy that plane ticket. Move to that city. Do the things that scare you because they’re worth it,” and I completely agree.

If there’s something you feel on the inside you should be doing but you are nervous, I say, just do it. It might be a scary thing to jump into, but that anxiety will be replaced with satisfaction. Either you will realize it wasn’t for you and now you know, or it was everything you’ve ever dreamed of. There’s only one way to find out.

Just freaking do it.

xo, Brittany Kayla

Reevaluating Your Inner Circle

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 In an attempt to learn Spanish, I began watching a Spanish soap opera, Lady La Vendedora de Rosas, based on a true story. In the show, the main character, Lady, and her family grew up in the slums of Columbia. Her single mother had a drinking problem and needed Lady, only a little girl at the time, to help the family out financially by selling roses on the dangerous street. Child services ended up taking Lady from her home and put her in an orphanage with nuns. There, she was raised and didn’t go back home until she was a teenager. When she came back, she kept the same values she learned from the nuns in her heart and was able to take better care of her family then her mother ever could.

Meanwhile, her two childhood best friends, Alex and Yurani stayed home and connected with a bad influence. Alex ended up becoming a gangster and Yurani became a drug addict. I mentioned to my sister that it was funny how Lady ended up becoming so responsible and successful while everyone else in the story was doing terrible. She reminded me that Lady was raised around the nuns and like-minded girls, in a safe environment. Alex and Yurani were surrounded by people that didn’t care enough to have their best interest at heart.

We are still in the beginning of the New Year and I know that everyone has their heart set on changing for the better. But you will only be as good as the company you keep. I’ve fooled myself many times in the past by saying, “we are friends but we are nothing alike and she can’t influence me because I am my own person.” That is a lie. That is not possible. If you are consistently hanging out with someone, their values and their mindset will eventually start to rub off on your own, without you even realizing it.

I’m not saying to abandon your “day ones,” but if your friends are lazy, unmotivated, or are doing things that compromise your values, then it’s your responsibility to distance yourself. Your company is a reflection of you. And believe me when I say that you are a product of who you surround yourself with.

Make sure though, that the friends you choose are actually friends. The best way to tell is by analyzing how they support your good decisions, and seeing if they love you enough to correct your bad ones, in ways that align with your core values.

The right friends to keep close in the New Year are going to be the ones that are positive and motivated to becoming the best version of themselves possible, while also encouraging your growth. The right friends will clap loudly when you win. They should be your biggest fans. They will always be there when you need them the most. And they will give you the advice you need to hear rather than what you want to hear.

Who you surround yourself with is a main factor that will ultimately contribute to your personal growth. So choose your friends wisely.

xo, Brittany Kayla

8 tips to accomplish that goal you’ve been struggling with

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We’ve all said it. “This is my year! I will finally accomplish the goal I’ve procrastinated on my entire life!” And by the end of the year, we still haven’t done it. I’ve personally set aside a few goals for myself this year and I wrote down the steps that are going to help me accomplish them, as they have helped me in the past.

 1. ATTAINABLE GOALS 

A lot of people strive for things they will never be able to have. You can’t say, “I want my body to look like hers after the New Year,” because someone else’s body has a different anatomy and build then yours. A lot of us need to revise our goals to things that we can actually accomplish. Otherwise, you will be running forever with no finish line.

 2. BREAK IT DOWN 

Break your goals down into easy steps.  The reason why a lot of us haven’t accomplished our goals yet is not because our dreams are too big, but because they are too big to accomplish right now. You don’t say, “I’m hungry, I want a sandwich” and the sandwich just appears in front of your face. You need to make it, step by step and ingredient by ingredient. Be sure to come up with a plan that has clear instructions on how you are going to accomplish your goal. My blog posts are only step one of my personal dreams! What are your steps?

 3. WRITE IT DOWN 

After you’ve broken down your attainable steps, be sure to write them down on paper. This will assist in making your dreams a reality. It’s also a good idea to put your dreams down on a vision board. Fill it up with your goals, steps, and photos to keep you encouraged! I recommend using magazine clippings for the pictures.

 4. KEEP YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE 

The way I keep myself accountable is by journaling. I write down my feelings, my struggles, and my accomplishments. Let’s say my goal is to eat healthy. I’m going to feel real bad writing down the fact that I pigged out after lunch today! Although journaling is personal and no one is going to read it, trust me when I say, you will feel a lot better about yourself when you’re writing about how you accomplished today’s goal rather than messing up.

 5. ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER 

Find someone who is seasoned in the goal you are trying to accomplish. If your goal is to become closer to God and you struggle with remaining consistent in praying and reading the Bible, ask one of your trusted church leaders to text you from time to time to keep you accountable! It’s also good because your accountability partner can participate with you. They can study the Bible with you, they can work out with you, etc.

 6. MOTIVATIONAL VIDEOS

I watch motivational videos, TED talks, and preachings several times a week! They keep me inspired throughout my journey to keep on pushing. I also follow Instagram pages of other inspirational people who have already accomplished my goals.

 7. PRAYER

Prayer is so important throughout your entire journey. Pray for guidance, pray for strength, self-control, and discernment. Pray, pray, pray! When you keep God first in life He will always help you out.

 8. GET BACK UP!

If you fail today, try again. If you fail tomorrow, keep going. If you ate badly at lunch, don’t use that as an excuse to eat badly at dinner. Don’t stop! Consistency will get you where you want to be.

ASK BRITTANY: I’m engaged but I still think about my ex…

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Dear Brittany: I’m engaged to an amazing man that I love so much but I still think of my ex here and there and I just don’t know what to do… My fiancé is amazing to me but I feel like he doesn’t deserve the fact that I’m thinking of someone else when we aren’t talking.

This is a tricky situation! It’s going to take a lot of self-reflection on your part to figure out what to do and why you feel this way. But I personally don’t think I would go through with the marriage until I’ve figured everything out first.

If you are still thinking about your ex, this leads me to believe that you were never really over him in the first place; even before you got engaged. Maybe you agreed to the engagement because you felt pressured to say yes because your man is such a good guy??

You need to remember that being a good faithful man does not mean he is the one for you. I know that a good man is hard to find in a day and age like ours; but I’ve realized that we easily settle for people that we don’t really want just because they are giving us the love we’ve always craved.

Is there something about him that is not satisfying your needs? What are the things that your ex did for you that your fiancé can’t? Communicate this with him if so. Remember, communication is key to a successful relationship.

Why did you and your ex break up in the first place? If he wanted to get back together and you weren’t engaged, would you take the offer? If so, then your fiancé is probably not fulfilling enough for you and I would let him know.

These are all questions you need to ask yourself. But I know that I know that I know, you should not be thinking of your ex when you are about to commit yourself to someone else for the rest of your life.

Now let’s say you want to be with your fiancé for the rest of your life, without a doubt, but you still think about your ex because you never got closure. Then I would say to shoot your ex a text and receive the closure that you need.

You might also just have cold feet. It’s scary thinking about committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life! Perhaps your hesitation stems from fear of the unknown. Talk to other married women to see if they had cold feet before their wedding!

If I were personally in this situation, I would pray and ask God for guidance. Ask God if it is His will for you and your fiancé to be together. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” So when you are seeking God with all of your heart and you are praying to Him, you will get the answers you are searching for.

The last thing you want is to be stuck in a marriage that is not for you. What’s most important in this situation is that you are following your intuition and your heart.

You know what you want out of life so live it the way you want. Don’t live the life others are expecting you to live. Don’t stay in a relationship you are not completely happy in. You are in control of your life and your happiness.  So take complete control.

xo, Brittany Kayla

If you would like to ask an anonymous question for you or a friend, click here and it will be posted on Ask Brittany!

The dream GOD gave me that put my frustration to rest!

~ psbrittanykayla ~ 3 Comments

A few nights ago, I cried myself to sleep. I began to feel like my life was remaining stagnant. I have such big plans for my future that when things slow down I get nervous. And when I don’t see God doing the things I want Him to do in my life, I get frustrated. I started reading horoscopes more than I read the Bible because I began to lose hope.

But when I fell asleep, I had an odd dream. In the dream, I was at the mall with a cousin. Suddenly an alarm went off for a big storm coming through the area. People began running frantically for safety. I remember seeing the walls of the mall crumbling down as waves of water from the storm came colliding. My cousin and I were desperate to get home to our families so we caught a ride from a little boy. After driving through the storm, the little boy dropped us off to my cousin’s house. However, I wanted him to take me to my house so I could be with my family. I begged and pleaded him to take me home. “Please, please take me home so I could be with my family!” But after several attempts, his final answer was no. The boy wanted to go home before the storm got too bad. Defeated, I walked with my cousin to her house, but to my surprise, my family was there.

When I woke up, I thought to myself, “Wow, they ended up being there all along.” If I had actually gotten my way and he took me to my house, I would have been disappointed and alone.

God wants me to tell you that sometimes, when we are going through a storm, we have our own ideas of where we should be, and get frustrated when we don’t reach that destination. You might never reach that destination. But the place God has in mind for you will be so much more rewarding and beneficial.

I then started to think about the little boy who gave us the ride. I actually recognized him from real life. I work for a children’s program and the boy, named Micah, is actually the tiniest child in the program. Although, he is too small to be driving a car, I relied on him in the dream to take me to where I wanted to be.

Sometimes when our faith in God decreases, we start relying on people or things that are UNQUALIFIED to take us to our desired destination.  God then told me to look up the meaning of the name Micah, and I found out that it means “Who is like God?” And of course the answer to this question is no one!

I needed that reality check. I needed to be reminded that horoscopes are not God. People are not God. I am not God. So what I have planned for my life just might not be what He does. And that is okay, because what He has in store for you and me is so much greater than we could ever imagine ourselves. Don’t be discouraged. God has a plan.

xo, Brittany Kayla

With Success, Comes The Haters

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I’ve learned that the more successful you get, the more of a threat you can be to those around you. Now, I’m not talking about everyone. The majority of the people around you will probably want you to prosper and succeed. However, those that can’t grasp the fact that theirs is coming too, if they just waited, are going to be the ones to exude hate.

We call them, haters. The people who are okay with you exceeding, only if it’s not above their amount of achieved success. Don’t take offense to this, rather take it as a compliment.

You might even be in a situation where you can’t seem to understand why you are the person they chose to hate on. Why are they picking on the little guy? But this is because they see something in you that you might not see in yourself yet. They can see that potential inside of you and they’ll do what it takes to make sure you don’t fulfill it in peace.

Ignore the haters and don’t look back. You have too many dreams to fulfill to be worried about what others have to say about you. You have too many things to accomplish in one day. If they are not helping you get to where you want to be in life, then their opinion does not matter. You’ve worked hard to get to this point. Don’t react in  a way you will regret over someone else’s hate.

Send them love instead. Avoid talking down on them and pray for them. The Bible says to pray for our enemies. Pray that their hearts will soften. Too many of us seek back revenge and hate, but what good will that ever do? Why would God reward someone with a heart like that?

Keep going and don’t look back. Instead of worrying about the person next to you, just keep grinding.

Life is not a competition or a race to see who gets the better life. If we all started uplifting, encouraging, and constantly inspiring one another, we could all do great things, together.

Keep working, keep inspiring and spread love.

xo, Brittany Kayla

Before You Commit, Keep This In Mind…

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In this generation, finding a faithful man is almost like finding a citizen that returns a missing wallet instead of stealing it. They just aren’t expected anymore. Rather than loyalty being the ordinary, women are now getting into relationships with the expectation of getting hurt. And it seems like the faithful men want a cookie for doing what they are supposed to be doing.

Through personal experience, I’ve realized you have to go into a relationship with your guard up. A lot of men will be purely infatuated with you. They will love the idea of you. They will love the way you look. They will fall in lust. They will want to hurry up and take you off the market before any other man could get to you. He will probably hit you with the lines, “Your ex is stupid, and if I am lucky enough to have you, I would never mess it up.” You’ll give him the time of day, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you there. He might even prematurely confess his love for you. Talk about a life with you. A family with you. Vacations with you.

But eventually, that fascination, lust, or “love” will become expired. He might have thought he really loved you. But what he didn’t realize was that his love was infatuation. The inevitable temporary, puppy love honeymoon phase.

However, when you come across the right one, it will never expire. Fifty years can pass and he will still look at you the same as the day he met you.

Patience is the key.

It can be so easy to commit yourself to the person who seems like a “dream come true” shortly after a break up. Don’t do it. This is infatuation. Give it time before you commit to someone new.

And when you do find the one you really want, give it some more time. Keep your guard up for a few months before committing.  If he really wants you, he will do everything in his power to keep you. Get past the honeymoon stage, and see if the love is still fresh. See if he still gives you that feeling. Or if it was just infatuation.

Lastly, do not do “wifey” things for a man that is not yours. You’re giving it up, feeding him, doing what he asks, when he asks. Why commit when he can have his cake and eat it too?

Mr. Right is out there, you just have to be patient. Even when you think you’ve found him, wait it out! Allow him time to reveal each side of him. The reason why it’s so hard for girls to leave toxic relationships, is because they’ve ignored all of the red flags in the beginning… commit, and become attached. Take your time.

Love,

Brittany Kayla

Why I am never worried about my future

~ psbrittanykayla ~ Leave a comment

I am never worried about the future. I have so many plans and aspirations for my life. And when I really think about it, it’s so scary. It’s scary to think, what if it doesn’t go my way? What if I end up with a mediocre job, a lifeless marriage, a few kids and a dog? While all of that is fine, it’s not what I envision for my future. I want more out of life.

Being Christian, I know that everything might not go my way. God’s plan might be way different than what I want. I also know that whatever His plan is for my life, will always be greater than what I had envisioned for myself. With that being said, I am never worried about my future.

At the same time, I’ve realized that I can’t make my own decisions and then expect for it to align with what God wants. You have to pray before making big decisions in life. Pray that God will guide you in the right direction. Sometimes we don’t know what to do, and no amount of advice from any other person in this world will make you feel more secure than the direction of God.

For example, I’ve tried to make my own decisions when it came to relationships. I would say, “This is the one. I want him to be the one I marry one day.” With no regards to if this is who God had designed me to be with. What if he has someone so much better for me?

I remember I was in a relationship and I told God, “Okay. I need you to tell me if this is the one. Remove him from my life if he will ever hurt me in the future. I don’t want to waste another day on someone I am not meant to be with. Please, give me a sign.” A couple days after that prayer I found out some things that showed me, he is not the one for me.

And then I thought, had I just prayed about it before… Prayed about the decision of being in a relationship with this man, I would not have gotten hurt.

If you allow God to lead your life, you will have nothing to worry about. Of course you will go through trials and tribulations, but always remain faithful to God, and He will bless your life. I promise. Give Him control.

xo, Brittany Kayla