ASK BRITTANY: I’m engaged but I still think about my ex…

Dear Brittany: I’m engaged to an amazing man that I love so much but I still think of my ex here and there and I just don’t know what to do… My fiancé is amazing to me but I feel like he doesn’t deserve the fact that I’m thinking of someone else when we aren’t talking.

This is a tricky situation! It’s going to take a lot of self-reflection on your part to figure out what to do and why you feel this way. But I personally don’t think I would go through with the marriage until I’ve figured everything out first.

If you are still thinking about your ex, this leads me to believe that you were never really over him in the first place; even before you got engaged. Maybe you agreed to the engagement because you felt pressured to say yes because your man is such a good guy??

You need to remember that being a good faithful man does not mean he is the one for you. I know that a good man is hard to find in a day and age like ours; but I’ve realized that we easily settle for people that we don’t really want just because they are giving us the love we’ve always craved.

Is there something about him that is not satisfying your needs? What are the things that your ex did for you that your fiancé can’t? Communicate this with him if so. Remember, communication is key to a successful relationship.

Why did you and your ex break up in the first place? If he wanted to get back together and you weren’t engaged, would you take the offer? If so, then your fiancé is probably not fulfilling enough for you and I would let him know.

These are all questions you need to ask yourself. But I know that I know that I know, you should not be thinking of your ex when you are about to commit yourself to someone else for the rest of your life.

Now let’s say you want to be with your fiancé for the rest of your life, without a doubt, but you still think about your ex because you never got closure. Then I would say to shoot your ex a text and receive the closure that you need.

You might also just have cold feet. It’s scary thinking about committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life! Perhaps your hesitation stems from fear of the unknown. Talk to other married women to see if they had cold feet before their wedding!

If I were personally in this situation, I would pray and ask God for guidance. Ask God if it is His will for you and your fiancé to be together. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” So when you are seeking God with all of your heart and you are praying to Him, you will get the answers you are searching for.

The last thing you want is to be stuck in a marriage that is not for you. What’s most important in this situation is that you are following your intuition and your heart.

You know what you want out of life so live it the way you want. Don’t live the life others are expecting you to live. Don’t stay in a relationship you are not completely happy in. You are in control of your life and your happiness.  So take complete control.

xo, Brittany Kayla

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The dream GOD gave me that put my frustration to rest!

A few nights ago, I cried myself to sleep. I began to feel like my life was remaining stagnant. I have such big plans for my future that when things slow down I get nervous. And when I don’t see God doing the things I want Him to do in my life, I get frustrated. I started reading horoscopes more than I read the Bible because I began to lose hope.

But when I fell asleep, I had an odd dream. In the dream, I was at the mall with a cousin. Suddenly an alarm went off for a big storm coming through the area. People began running frantically for safety. I remember seeing the walls of the mall crumbling down as waves of water from the storm came colliding. My cousin and I were desperate to get home to our families so we caught a ride from a little boy. After driving through the storm, the little boy dropped us off to my cousin’s house. However, I wanted him to take me to my house so I could be with my family. I begged and pleaded him to take me home. “Please, please take me home so I could be with my family!” But after several attempts, his final answer was no. The boy wanted to go home before the storm got too bad. Defeated, I walked with my cousin to her house, but to my surprise, my family was there.

When I woke up, I thought to myself, “Wow, they ended up being there all along.” If I had actually gotten my way and he took me to my house, I would have been disappointed and alone.

God wants me to tell you that sometimes, when we are going through a storm, we have our own ideas of where we should be, and get frustrated when we don’t reach that destination. You might never reach that destination. But the place God has in mind for you will be so much more rewarding and beneficial.

I then started to think about the little boy who gave us the ride. I actually recognized him from real life. I work for a children’s program and the boy, named Micah, is actually the tiniest child in the program. Although, he is too small to be driving a car, I relied on him in the dream to take me to where I wanted to be.

Sometimes when our faith in God decreases, we start relying on people or things that are UNQUALIFIED to take us to our desired destination.  God then told me to look up the meaning of the name Micah, and I found out that it means “Who is like God?” And of course the answer to this question is no one!

I needed that reality check. I needed to be reminded that horoscopes are not God. People are not God. I am not God. So what I have planned for my life just might not be what He does. And that is okay, because what He has in store for you and me is so much greater than we could ever imagine ourselves. Don’t be discouraged. God has a plan.

xo, Brittany Kayla

Why I am never worried about my future

I am never worried about the future. I have so many plans and aspirations for my life. And when I really think about it, it’s so scary. It’s scary to think, what if it doesn’t go my way? What if I end up with a mediocre job, a lifeless marriage, a few kids and a dog? While all of that is fine, it’s not what I envision for my future. I want more out of life.

Being Christian, I know that everything might not go my way. God’s plan might be way different than what I want. I also know that whatever His plan is for my life, will always be greater than what I had envisioned for myself. With that being said, I am never worried about my future.

At the same time, I’ve realized that I can’t make my own decisions and then expect for it to align with what God wants. You have to pray before making big decisions in life. Pray that God will guide you in the right direction. Sometimes we don’t know what to do, and no amount of advice from any other person in this world will make you feel more secure than the direction of God.

For example, I’ve tried to make my own decisions when it came to relationships. I would say, “This is the one. I want him to be the one I marry one day.” With no regards to if this is who God had designed me to be with. What if he has someone so much better for me?

I remember I was in a relationship and I told God, “Okay. I need you to tell me if this is the one. Remove him from my life if he will ever hurt me in the future. I don’t want to waste another day on someone I am not meant to be with. Please, give me a sign.” A couple days after that prayer I found out some things that showed me, he is not the one for me.

And then I thought, had I just prayed about it before… Prayed about the decision of being in a relationship with this man, I would not have gotten hurt.

If you allow God to lead your life, you will have nothing to worry about. Of course you will go through trials and tribulations, but always remain faithful to God, and He will bless your life. I promise. Give Him control.

xo, Brittany Kayla