You’re dating different people, yet receiving the same results. Heartbreak. You can’t figure out why. You’ve been faithful, caring, loving, you have a good head on your shoulders, and you’re attractive. So you wonder… “Why on earth do I keep getting played?”

It’s time for a bit of self-reflection.

Although you can’t help what your partner or potential boo does, if you’re chronically getting played by different individuals, it is partly your fault. It’s your fault because you are allowing people that don’t deserve to be so close to you to hurt you in the first place. It is no one’s responsibility to protect your heart but your own. Stop ignoring the red flags. Stop falling for their “potential.” Stop taking the next person in line just because they’re the only ones interested in the moment. It’s okay to be alone until the right one comes along.

If you keep going through the same cycle with different people, you are probably dating the same person in different bodies.

Sure, they might have a few differences. Different skin tone, different hair, a different voice… but I guarantee, you could find at least one key similarity between the people you are dating.

A friend of mine was explaining to me the type of men she usually settles for. They are the same type. They come from the same background. They treat her exactly the same. She said, “Brittany, I know I could do better but there’s just something about these guys. They make me feel worthy. Like they know they can’t do better than me, so I always feel like a prize in their eyes.”

And yet they still manage to hurt her.

The similarity in the type of men she dates is the way they make her feel. Deep down, she knows she could do better, but these are the guys that make her feel loved when she doesn’t feel love within herself.

Your similarity within the people you date might have nothing to do with feelings. Perhaps it’s about the way they look. Maybe it’s their accomplishments. Their status. Their swag. Their ability to smooth talk their way out of anything. But I’m willing to bet, if you put all of the people that broke your heart in one room, you could find a similarity or two.

It’s okay to have a type. But if this type is constantly breaking you down then it’s time to be more selective.

So many people shouldn’t have the opportunity to break your heart. My pastor says, it’s easier to protect your heart than to repair it when it’s broken.

So stop rushing the process and love yourself first. Once you do, you won’t want to settle for mediocre anymore. When you have love for yourself you’ll be more careful about who you let in because you don’t need just anybody coming into your life ruining your good vibes and positivity! You’ll date the person that sees the worth you see within yourself.

With love,

Brittany Kayla